Just Giblets

It’s actually 9 am. Did you know that? We’re heading to London today and trying to get acclimated before we arrive. It’s a little disorienting, to say the least, especially when you watch this dude doing a hilarious Patti impersonation! (Thanks to Marc Acito.)

And this reminds me that I never finished talking about the weird experience of seeing my friend Susan as a star and character in Broadway’s [title of show]! Well, I guess I missed the moment. Just go see the show, whatever you do. It’s wicked awesome and proves what I’ve known for over 20 years: Susan Blackwell is a goddess that [sic] should be worshipped and adored.

As you’ve probably noticed, I don’t post as much as Scottie does, but every once in a while I see something that I just have to share.

First there was Vulva (totally not safe for work, but truly a must-see website.  Don’t skip the video) the original scent of a woman… and now we’ve got Bálla powder, on sale at, of all places, Amazon.com (you know, the online bookstore?)  This talc powder is designed to keep your scrotum silky-dry, smooth, and fresh-smelling.  Really.  Now I’m a fan of a dry, smooth, aromatic scortum as much as the next guy, but I’m not sure if a special powder is needed to do the job.  Here are a couple of excerpts from the product features list on its Amazon page:

• For “nether region” freshness
• Also great for sweaty buttocks, armpits and feet

Better yet, here’s the product description from Amazon:

Balla Powder for Men is the ideal anti-chafing and anti-wetness solution for clammy sacks. Guaranteed to prevent the dreaded “bat wing” syndrome, Balla Powder for Men is lightly scented with a masculine fragrance, for anyone else who plans to work in your close quarters. Can be sprinkled into your fudgies for all-day-long comfort and dryness. A fabulous post-workout treatment, Balla Powder for Men can also be used between your cheeks, as well as on fetid feet and aromatic armpits.

Tell me truly, do you spend a lot of time worrying about the dreaded “bat wing” syndrome?  And what’s the matter with good old baby powder if this is really an issue?  Of course, this product does come in original, fragrance free and “tingle” formula.  Hmmm.  Well, Scottie’s birthday is coming up in August, and I’ve been trying to think of something unique to get for him (and it’s only $15).  This just might do the trick.

So this was the big night. We saw [title of show] on mother-scratching Broadway. Holey frijoles, I don’t have the words to describe it at the moment. We saw it before at the Vineyard Theatre, off-Broadway. Mainly I’m logging the event tonight so that I will be compelled to describe it in detail tomorrow when we train home.

[FYI, just noticed from the above link that Heidi is the only member who got a significantly new costume. Like the new one better than the stripes, so I'm not complaining.]

Besides getting to hang out with my dear friend (and superstar) Susan Blackwell, I got to hug Hunter Bell and shake Heidi Blickenstaff’s hand. Still haven’t met Larry Pressgrove. And Jeff Bowen smiled at me, but dammit. He has no idea that I’m the dude who cracked his showtune cipher and sported his patch all around town today. (Pictures of that and more tomorrow.)

As much as I’m tempted summarize the evening as, “I’m so proud of my dear friend who made her way from Ohio state school to Broadway,” I really have to say that seeing the show has kicked me in the ass. Again. My soul is re-energized having seen five honest people making good the right way. Basically, this show is (and hopefully will continue to be) proof that “laying it all out there honestly” is just the way to do things. All the people who claim “you have to play a game here or there” will hopefully have to find new excuses from here out.

That would make me very happy. Just like this show does. Again, more details to follow tomorrow.

I think this is why. But maybe he doesn’t know that we don’t do this in the U.S.

Michael’s away, so I get to watch The Sound of Music on DVD. Do you think Julie, in her long career, ever wished for long, flowing blond locks?

Okay, so this has probably been proposed by someone else and launched and failed miserably. But what the hell? I am all about the fool-making.

Why don’t we start a social networking site all about making connections with people we can’t stand? No, really. You log on, search for “Sharon Krafts” and then tag her as a “genial co-worker on the other side of a labor dispute” or whatever. We can define many sorts of work relationships. Or love relationships. Or family relationships. But the idea is that we don’t like these people. And we can get explicit confirmation that they dislike us as well.

What do you think?

My friend Vinnie at Bitter Cup of Joe won’t believe it, but I’m just posting this on his behalf. I think he’ll really dig it. Hell, who wouldn’t?

Ever wonder what you would look like after a face lift? Don’t. Below are my before-and-after results from LiftMagic.com. I look like a frickin alien, no? To be fair, I did crank up every possible “enhancement” to 100%, but this confirmed one thing for me. You cannot improve on the perfection of my beautiful face. (Ha.)