Just Giblets

I’m home sick with the beginnings of a cold and took this opportunity to upgrade our WordPress installation. While I was at it, I took a look at our Web server stats. These were the top ten phrases used on search engines to find us this month:

• swollen uvula
• tattoo
• computers internet blog
• peace symbols
• tiger tattoos
• tattoo pictures
• carol channing
• just giblets
• tiger stencils
• uvula

I’ve often wondered if anyone besides our unusual friends sees our blog. Any semi-serious citizen journalism cred that my talented and creative husband generates by posting insightful book reviews has got to have been neutralized quickly by my dorky video posts of children cussing.

I’m honored that Carol Channing fans have found us and that I’m spreading the word about harmless (but alarming) uvular edema. Heck, maybe even girly tiger tattoos may become the fashion. Who woulda thunk I’d write the most Google-worthy posts?

Those top ten are great, but get this. There are more awesome phrases farther down the list. Here’s a selection of unusual search phrases that have brought people to us this month more than once!

• pic of sudafed (I think the ban on over-the-counter sale is actually increasing interest in meth production.)
• scary images of of people
• medical wonders
• crazy lady (I can’t imagine who that would be?)
• swollen uvula anxiety (See? It’s really scary!)
• balla powder tingle (Okay, now I’ve gotta try it.)

And of course there a few gems in the one-hit list.

• sean connery red suspenders (Hot.)
• batwing pharmacy (This cracks me up, realizing why it’s indexed.)
• got giblets?
• how to make a shy girl open up (WTF?)
• are giblets good for you? (Need you ask?)
• hooters of dayton ohio (Never been. Don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it either.)
• abner i m closing the circle movie quote (I don’t know. But I think I want to see it.)
• i miss kitty (This makes me sad and I wish the visitor had emailed me.)
• sudafed pe makes me jittery
• ernest borgnine what he attributes to a long life (You know what it is, right? But I didn’t post about that. I posted about him farting on Ethel Merman.)
• men with large scrotums (Okay, that’s just eerie.)
• pain in the giblet doctor

All in all, I think we’re filling a much needed gap in the consumer health web, if not for many physical issues, for mental ones. Shoot. I think we need an award, actually.

Just when you thought you’d seen every possible use of a blog, you stumble across a true work of genius. I don’t know why I’ve not seen Jessica Hagy’s blog Indexed before, but dang. She’s brilliant. She’s even publishing a book at the end of the month, and for once, it seems to actually make sense to me that a blogger’s posts be compiled in print.

All she does is to graphically represent on index cards, usually in the form of graphs or Venn diagrams, some little ironic observation about life. And surprise, surprise — she works in advertising. Just dig this latest one.

Isn’t that genius? Book = want.

Let me catch you up. Amazing little off-Broadway musical (about two guys writing a musical about two guys writing a musical), [Title of Show] (featuring Susan Blackwell of Susan Blackwell fame) ran at the Vineyard Theatre July to September of 2006. Limited run. Awesome cast album. But too bad, so sad, all good things must come to an end.

Or do they? The cast have kept the little show alive via their blog and obsessive fans like moi read it … well, obsessively. But about three months ago, the cast started posting short You Tube videos that they collectively call The [Title of Show] Show. The show chronicles the cast’s efforts to transfer the musical to Broadway (or play an out of town gig) and is a serial masterpiece in it’s own right.

But they’ve really outdone themselves with episode 6. If you know and/or care nothing about the show or fancy-schmancy musical theatre stars, then at least skip to the post-end-credit coda at timecode 9:30 to see the most awesome cameo punchline ever.

Even my mom would get and appreciate the joke, I think. Michael’s mom, no. But my mom, yes.

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Hmmm… that’s way more than I would have thought.