Okay, so this has probably been proposed by someone else and launched and failed miserably. But what the hell? I am all about the fool-making.
Why don’t we start a social networking site all about making connections with people we can’t stand? No, really. You log on, search for “Sharon Krafts” and then tag her as a “genial co-worker on the other side of a labor dispute” or whatever. We can define many sorts of work relationships. Or love relationships. Or family relationships. But the idea is that we don’t like these people. And we can get explicit confirmation that they dislike us as well.
Ever wonder what you would look like after a face lift? Don’t. Below are my before-and-after results from LiftMagic.com. I look like a frickin alien, no? To be fair, I did crank up every possible “enhancement” to 100%, but this confirmed one thing for me. You cannot improve on the perfection of my beautiful face. (Ha.)
Ah-aight, y’all. Everyone who told me “You have to see Zardoz because you love bad movies!” has lots of ’splaining to do. Chadd, Marlin, etc. — you really must think I don’t know how to watch a film, cause if you think this is bad… whoa. We need to have a talk.
How can anyone dislike this film? Number one: Sean Connery in nothing more than a red diaper for over half the film. Less than this picture shows. This was his fancy costume. No crap. And he trims no body hair. It actually makes a poignant point in the film, but I leave you to discover that. I don’t want to spoil the fun of the erection scene.
Number two: Young Charlotte Rampling had boobs. And she wasn’t shy about sharing them. Of course, neither was any other English actress in the 70’s, it seems, but whatever.
Number three: This film looks like I imagine most every novel or short story by Philip Jose Farmer, Ted Sturgeon, James Tiptree, or the senile Robert Heinlein of the 80’s, bless his freakishly polyamorous conservative soul. It’s just that weird. Remember the PBS version of The Lathe of Heaven? This is so much more, but it’s all about capturing that same feeling.
Number four: Well, there’s the title and why I’ll be shelving it where I will be shelving it.
Number five: There is a fantastic scene where Zed wakes the apathetics. It includes lots of same-sex kissing. A couple of girl-girl ones, of course, but even a boy-boy one! Remarkable for 1974!
Number six: Did I mention Sean Connery in the red diaper? Dude seems so proud of his hairy Scottish ass. Awesome.
Need I say any more than that? See http://manbabies.com. (Thanks to Bitter Cup of Joe for making me lie awake all night with this image in my head. WTF, indeed.)
Michael just got home (at six a.m., ugh) from San Francisco where he’d spent several days at a library conference. I really turn into a worthless slug when he’s away and can’t sleep very well. And this time was compounded by a mysterious sore throat, achiness, and fatigue. Not sure if it was a cold or allergies.
But the one good thing about being a temporary bachelor is that I get to shop for groceries Michael would never eat. Here’s a partial list from my Sunday afternoon excursion:
Hostess Cupcakes, chocolate
TGI Fridays’ Cheddar and Bacon Potato Skins
Wonder Bread
American Cheese Slices, the orange kind
Turkey and Ham Hot Pockets, now with more meat
Fritos
Fritos Bean Dip
Ham and Swiss Lunchables
Turkey and American Lunchables, the orange kind
Totino’s Pepperoni Pizza Rolls, 90 count
“Um, he’s eight. But he’s only visiting for a few days. I just have to keep him happy till Thursday.”
One of the benefits of working for the City of Boston is getting a couple of random holidays that most people do not celebrate. Today is one such holiday. Evacuation Day commemorates the day the British military evacuated American cities in the American Revolutionary War. According to wikipedia, Evacuation Day occurred in March of 1776, and Boston celebrates it on St. Patrick’s Day… probably as an excuse to get drunk. Wikipedia’s comment, “Celebrations are notoriously spirited.” Cute. Me? I like having the extra day off. We also get Bunker Hill Day in June.
I’m basically writing because I haven’t posted here in a very long time. Sorry about that. Been pretty busy. I will try to do better.
Black lady: Listen, you camel jockey, I don’t care what you say, you was wrong to do that! Middle Eastern man: Oh, shut up, you stupid nigga! I’m tired of hearing your shit! Go fuck yourself! Black woman passerby: Oh my god, who the hell are you to be talking to my beautiful black sister like that?! You ain’t got no right to talk to anybody black like that! Black lady: Bitch, who the shit are you? Don’t be talkin’ to my husband like that!
Michael just got home (at six a.m., ugh) from San Francisco where he’d spent several days at a library conference. I really turn into a worthless slug when he’s away and can’t sleep very well. And this time was compounded by a mysterious sore throat, achiness, and fatigue. Not sure if it was a cold or allergies.