Just Giblets

Imortalized in comics once again

20th December 2008
by Scot

Imortalized in comics once again

I got a new haircut. Yeah, it’s a “fo-mo” or “faux-hawk” or whatever you want to call it. But despite its passé and perhaps cheesy status, it looks good on me.

My officemate/geek-crush Michael Klein follows an online comic strip called Laugh-Out-Loud Cats by Adam Koford. It’s pretty brilliant, looking like Pogo or The Katzenjammer Kids, but with hobo kitties speaking dialogue like a lolcat.

A day after he saw my new haircut, Michael K. send Michael C. and me the latest Koford comic with a note that read, “Look! It’s you guys!” Indeed, it is.

posted in Art, Celebrity, Comics, Kitties, OMGWTFBBQ!?, Vanity, Web | at 10:40 am | 2 Comments
22nd August 2008
by Scot

Making Babies

I’m a little surprised to learn from MakeMeBabies.com that if Michael and I made a baby, it would be Indian.

Here’s the visual proof. Isn’t Baby Giblets adorable?

Baby Giblets

posted in Nonsense, OMGWTFBBQ!?, Scary Stuff, Vanity, Web | at 11:59 am | 3 Comments
19th August 2008
by Scot

St. Colford Medical Center: We treat uvulae, scrota, and giblets.

I’m home sick with the beginnings of a cold and took this opportunity to upgrade our WordPress installation. While I was at it, I took a look at our Web server stats. These were the top ten phrases used on search engines to find us this month:

  • swollen uvula
  • tattoo
  • computers internet blog
  • peace symbols
  • tiger tattoos
  • tattoo pictures
  • carol channing
  • just giblets
  • tiger stencils
  • uvula

I’ve often wondered if anyone besides our unusual friends sees our blog. Any semi-serious citizen journalism cred that my talented and creative husband generates by posting insightful book reviews has got to have been neutralized quickly by my dorky video posts of children cussing.

I’m honored that Carol Channing fans have found us and that I’m spreading the word about harmless (but alarming) uvular edema. Heck, maybe even girly tiger tattoos may become the fashion. Who woulda thunk I’d write the most Google-worthy posts?

Those top ten are great, but get this. There are more awesome phrases farther down the list. Here’s a selection of unusual search phrases that have brought people to us this month more than once!

  • pic of sudafed (I think the ban on over-the-counter sale is actually increasing interest in meth production.)
  • scary images of of people
  • medical wonders
  • crazy lady (I can’t imagine who that would be?)
  • swollen uvula anxiety (See? It’s really scary!)
  • balla powder tingle (Okay, now I’ve gotta try it.)

And of course there a few gems in the one-hit list.

  • sean connery red suspenders (Hot.)
  • batwing pharmacy (This cracks me up, realizing why it’s indexed.)
  • got giblets?
  • how to make a shy girl open up (WTF?)
  • are giblets good for you? (Need you ask?)
  • hooters of dayton ohio (Never been. Don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it either.)
  • abner i m closing the circle movie quote (I don’t know. But I think I want to see it.)
  • i miss kitty (This makes me sad and I wish the visitor had emailed me.)
  • sudafed pe makes me jittery
  • ernest borgnine what he attributes to a long life (You know what it is, right? But I didn’t post about that. I posted about him farting on Ethel Merman.)
  • men with large scrotums (Okay, that’s just eerie.)
  • pain in the giblet doctor

All in all, I think we’re filling a much needed gap in the consumer health web, if not for many physical issues, for mental ones. Shoot. I think we need an award, actually.

13th July 2008
by Scot

[title of post]

So this was the big night. We saw [title of show] on mother-scratching Broadway. Holey frijoles, I don’t have the words to describe it at the moment. We saw it before at the Vineyard Theatre, off-Broadway. Mainly I’m logging the event tonight so that I will be compelled to describe it in detail tomorrow when we train home.

[FYI, just noticed from the above link that Heidi is the only member who got a significantly new costume. Like the new one better than the stripes, so I’m not complaining.]

Besides getting to hang out with my dear friend (and superstar) Susan Blackwell, I got to hug Hunter Bell and shake Heidi Blickenstaff’s hand. Still haven’t met Larry Pressgrove. And Jeff Bowen smiled at me, but dammit. He has no idea that I’m the dude who cracked his showtune cipher and sported his patch all around town today. (Pictures of that and more tomorrow.)

As much as I’m tempted summarize the evening as, “I’m so proud of my dear friend who made her way from Ohio state school to Broadway,” I really have to say that seeing the show has kicked me in the ass. Again. My soul is re-energized having seen five honest people making good the right way. Basically, this show is (and hopefully will continue to be) proof that “laying it all out there honestly” is just the way to do things. All the people who claim “you have to play a game here or there” will hopefully have to find new excuses from here out.

That would make me very happy. Just like this show does. Again, more details to follow tomorrow.

posted in Musicals, OMGWTFBBQ!?, Personal, Theatre, Vanity | at 3:15 am | 0 Comments
5th July 2008
by Scot

Me as Michael Jackson

Ever wonder what you would look like after a face lift? Don’t. Below are my before-and-after results from LiftMagic.com. I look like a frickin alien, no? To be fair, I did crank up every possible “enhancement” to 100%, but this confirmed one thing for me. You cannot improve on the perfection of my beautiful face. (Ha.)

Me with plastic surgery

posted in Nonsense, OMGWTFBBQ!?, Scary Stuff, Vanity | at 12:20 pm | 1 Comment
11th February 2008
by Scot

Two Weeks

Okay, I wasn’t going to say anything for a while, but what the heck. Michael and I were both sick as dogs with the flu a few weeks ago and he did the sensible thing and stopped smoking. That’s much harder for me to do. But after we were more mobile, he still didn’t start again. After much hounding on my part, I got him to admit that he was trying to quit. Knowing how much of a bad influence we are on each other, I figured it was time for me to try again myself.

Nicotine CandyNow, Michael can just up and quit. I don’t know how he does it. But I’m pretty physically attached to my nicotine so I knew I’d have to use some little aid. I’d had good success with the patch before. (Quit for four years. The four years before I met Michael!) But this time, I thought I should try one of the oral nicotine substitutions. I started off on the lozenge things called “Commit”. Yeah, they taste nasty and sort of burn your mouth a bit. And you’re not supposed to chew them or even swallow much of your spit or you’ll get stomach and throat ulcers. But that’s okay. The hard part was just getting the damn things to dissolve. They are supposed to dissolve in 20-30 minutes, but mine were taking upwards of 90 minutes to turn into a chalky mush that was hard not to swallow. You can’t eat or drink while it’s in your mouth or for 15 minutes before you start sucking. And you’re supposed to have at least nine a day for the first six weeks! That’s, what? Like 13.5 hours of sucking where you can’t even drink a glass of water. Add in over two hours of that 15-minute buffer time and I’m likely to dehydrate and starve to death in a couple days.

So, I switched to the patch and I’m doing pretty well. I still have a stash of the lozenges for the really strong cravings. I don’t think you’re supposed to use them and the patch together, but I’ve not had any palpitations yet.

When I started, though, I signed up for the GlaxoSmithKline Commited Quitters program that goes along with the little not-candy-they’re-medicine things. The idea is that this friendly drug company writes up a personalized quitting program for you based on this lengthy questionnaire you fill out. But really it just means I get emails like this every week.

Dear Scot,

It has been two weeks since your last cigarette. Have you noticed any changes in your breathing? You may be coughing up more phlegm now that your lungs are beginning to work better. This is normal. Your body is clearing itself out with every smokeless breath you take. How is your sense of taste? Is it improving?

You may also be feeling more comfortable as a nonsmoker. Are you finding new ways of socializing or dealing with stressful situations? Your withdrawal symptoms may be subsiding, but you still need to be aware of your triggers to smoke and use the strategies you have learned to manage them. Don’t forget to review your personalized program on the Committed Quitters® Web site for extra support.

Oh, it’s so encouraging. I love that phlegm bit. And my sense of taste. Yeah, the phlegm tastes great.

Wish me luck. And don’t ask me how it’s going or I’ll bite your head off. (Ha.)

posted in Family, Health, Personal, Vanity | at 4:44 pm | 0 Comments
29th August 2007
by Scot

Mystery Date

So, I’m checking out my professional library blogs via RSS this afternoon and come across a post from one of my favorites, Chronicles of Bean. I’ve never met Cindi, but we’ve exchanged a couple tweets in passing on Twitter and she gives reliably good and sensible blog. So how has she been spending her time lately?

Today’s stoopid web quiz

OK, so I took a couple of these… I am part Jim, part Ryan from The Office, I would have been in Gryffindor, I am Hagrid (the outcast with a heart of gold), I am part Hiro, part Peter from Heroes, but best of all:

What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For?

And she goes on to say that it was dead on, matching her with the “geek” type and even displaying a picture of Tobey Maguire, which apparently works for her.

So, I worked through lunch today and it’s 4:00. Who’s my Mystery Date?

What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For?

You would fall for the sensitive guy. You’ll find your future man wherever turtlenecks are sold. He will have depth, introspection, and a disturbing knowledge of musical theatre. And he may be a little weird. But hey, while your girlfriends cry over broken hearts, you’ll be having Shakespeare read to you every night.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Holy moley. Jake Gyllenhaal reading me Shakespeare?! Do you really think he has a “disturbing knowledge of musical theatre?” It is scarily accurate, I’d say. But I think I’ve got a pretty sensitive guy already. And if he already knew a whole lot about musical theatre, what would be left to teach him!?

posted in Nonsense, Vanity, Web | at 3:38 pm | 2 Comments
17th July 2007
by Scot

Do you notice anything different?

OdiogoYou will, if you’re reading this post on our site and not from your RSS feed. Look up there. There’s a little icon that lets a computerized voice read this or any Just Giblets post to you! All courtesy of Odiogo. How cool is that? It almost sounds human. “I all most sound hoo mahn.” There’s even a supah-easy plugin for WordPress that does all the heavy lifting.

They market this thing as a lazy person’s gateway to podcasting, but I don’t know how practical that is. I’d rather podcast with my own voice. This guy don’t sing, for one thing. But I’ve always wanted to hear a computer say these things:

Life is a banquet! And most poor suckers are starving to death!

I cannt stann im!

I’m depraved onna cownna I’m deprived!

My NAME is MELINDA!!! Melinda, Winnifred, Wayne, Tentrees. And I am APPALLED. And STUNNED. At this OUTRAGEOUS… inquisition!

Oh, man, how cool is that?!

posted in Vanity, Web | at 8:15 pm | 6 Comments
11th July 2007
by Scot

A Pain in the Neck

OsteophyteI am sick of this. I’ve got some junk growing on one of the vertebrae in my neck that is pinching a nerve that goes all the way down my arm. I had some physical therapy for it a couple years ago, but now it’s back with a vengeance and boy does it hurt sometimes. I’m not looking forward to more physical therapy. Can I get a neck transplant?

posted in Health, Vanity | at 7:05 pm | 0 Comments
12th March 2007
by Scot

Imagini Me and You

Think you know me? So did I. The profile they wrote for me for me at Imagini is just full of crap, but I like the pictures.

posted in Vanity, Web | at 6:18 pm | 0 Comments
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