Win At Yelling!

(Yeah, Michael posts book reviews and I post stupid videos. Something for everyone, right?)

I think my geek status has lapsed! You’ve probably seen this already, but I totally missed the new beverage of choice for nerds: Brawndo, The Thirst Mutilator! I usually get Red Bull every week at the grocery, but apparently, I’m a totally wuss for buying the teeny cans of pee-yellow, slightly carbonated, “gives you wings” beverage. I need to upgrade to the lime-jello-colored, half-quart, ass-kicking, made with five kinds of sugar, manly-man drink!

Just look at their awesome ad campaign. You gotta love a drink that argues “Drink BRAWNDO and not WATER because WATER is from the TOILET!!!”

Dear John … And John,

I was just watching Seinfeld on TBS and saw the latest Dunkin Donuts ad. What made you sell your song to them? I know you like coffee, but surely you think Dunkie’s coffee is overrated like I do. Don’t you? And besides, the donuts are dry and cakey and sit in your stomach like a rock.

Krispie Kreme may have been a better choice. Or if you really needed money, you coulda called me.

Bee-yootiful

Don’t think I blogged about it at the time, but I was a judge at the Boston citywide spelling bee that sent the first kid from this city ever to the Scripps spelling bee in Washington this year. It was really cool cause not only did I get to ring the bell that means “Wrong! You got it wrong!” but I also got to re-pronounce the word and use it in a sentence when asked. Too fun. And our winner was really good.

We didn’t have this word, though… Oh man, I wish we had. Incidentally, this is from this year’s finals of the national bee and this kid went on to win after spelling the word guerdon. What a guerdon is, though, is anyone’s guess.

What You Bitchin’ On Zardoz For?

Sean Connery in red diaper and suspendersAh-aight, y’all. Everyone who told me “You have to see Zardoz because you love bad movies!” has lots of ‘splaining to do. Chadd, Marlin, etc. — you really must think I don’t know how to watch a film, cause if you think this is bad… whoa. We need to have a talk.

How can anyone dislike this film? Number one: Sean Connery in nothing more than a red diaper for over half the film. Less than this picture shows. This was his fancy costume. No crap. And he trims no body hair. It actually makes a poignant point in the film, but I leave you to discover that. I don’t want to spoil the fun of the erection scene.

Number two: Young Charlotte Rampling had boobs. And she wasn’t shy about sharing them. Of course, neither was any other English actress in the 70’s, it seems, but whatever.

Number three: This film looks like I imagine most every novel or short story by Philip Jose Farmer, Ted Sturgeon, James Tiptree, or the senile Robert Heinlein of the 80’s, bless his freakishly polyamorous conservative soul. It’s just that weird. Remember the PBS version of The Lathe of Heaven? This is so much more, but it’s all about capturing that same feeling.

Number four: Well, there’s the title and why I’ll be shelving it where I will be shelving it.

Number five: There is a fantastic scene where Zed wakes the apathetics. It includes lots of same-sex kissing. A couple of girl-girl ones, of course, but even a boy-boy one! Remarkable for 1974!

Number six: Did I mention Sean Connery in the red diaper? Dude seems so proud of his hairy Scottish ass. Awesome.